September 24, 2009

Think Again and Setting Myself on Fire.

 I don't have an expansive ocean view and my home doesn't rest high atop a hill overlooking the rolling vineyards. But from where I sit I can always see the sun and feel the warm presence of my creator. And yet, sometimes I get stuck. The fingers don't move along the keyboard. The thoughts aren't flowing from my brain to that pen.

So now what? I just do. I get up and change my perspective.

In kindergarten, the teachers have a little trick they use to bring focus back to their students and (as Raffi would say) she let's them shake their sillies out. Shaking it up helps, but sometimes I need more.

I stop, drop and roll. I know that is what you are supposed to do when you are on fire, right? And that is exactly what I find that I need when I am stuck. 

Oh, and there is one more place to which I like to return when I find myself paralyzed. I try to remember what the source of my inspiration is.  When I can return to that place,  I can go back to my space like I am on fire and begin anew.

Jump Ahead 10 Years & Then Fall Flat on my Empty Wallet!

For Vinita Hampton Wright 

In my late 20's I was a property manager. It was a man's world and I loved working in it. One of the skills that landed me in that career was that I was observant. I caught everything with a discerning eye and I had an ear that was tuned in to things... I could catch the remnants of termites or the sounds of scurrying cockroaches, seriously.

That talent continues to serve me. This morning I caught a glimpse of a 30-inch spider web glistening with dew in the early morning sun. Take note of things and make note of your discoveries each day.

Yesterday I picked up SIMPLE ACTS OF MOVING FORWARD, and began with my first step in list-making and step taking. It was a beautiful thing. I committed to one small chapter a day. To be ever-present in each step of the day. Today,  when I tried to "jump ahead ten years",  I fell flat on my empty wallet because reflecting on what I want to do when I am 69 years old seems as silly a question today as asking a five-year-old "what do you what to be what you grow up?"  My entire life I have wrestled with what I what to do.

Today: All I know is what I want to be:
I want to BE healthy. I want to continue to BE a good mother, wife and family member and friend. I want to be able to travel with purpose. I want to continue to be happily married. I want to continue to be able to write and be heard. I want to be able to spend time with young people and help older adults. And I want to be able to have meaningful things to do in my life to make a difference every day.

But in 10 years what on earth do I want to DO?  Do it on earth?

Make a List and Be Certain to Check it a Couple of Times.

I am one of those people who just can't get through life without list-making. My life is really one list at a time. I carry post-it notes. I write with a post-it pen. And a notepad is never far from my reach. Days are segmented into home-work, life-work and everything else that must be done. I started to assign home-work tasks long ago. It helps so as not to get overwhelmed with the details of maintaining a happy home. For example, if Tuesday is kitchen day and if the only area of the home that receives my attention is that room, I am left with many hours of enrichment and a fulfilled life and everything else works. But beyond that, something I discovered in the many quiet hours of my days is that what will be remembered as evening rests on my lap, is not that I cleaned the kitchen but that along the way, throughout the day there was something special to be held in thanksgiving from each of my lists: an uncovered recipe that I have been meaning to try receives cheers from my co-vivant; an e-mail from an artist sharing his dog's "tale"; a phone call from a friend just checking in on me; time to acknowledge and welcome fall with photos of my deciduous trees yet to have shed their green coats. Today I looked at my lists with 20 - 20 vision.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Hey There Barbie Girl

In July of 1959 the furthest thing from my mind was the name of the company that had launched a grown-up-looking doll in a zebra-striped one-piece...All I knew is that my world would come to an end if I didn't get a Barbie for my ninth birthday. Then, in December 1960, I was struck with desire and knew I could not go on living if I didn't find Chatty Cathy under my slim, artificial, Florida Christmas tree. I should be concerned about the name of the creator of these life-changing toys? Hardly!

Barbie had everything a pre-teen wanted: endless outfits and breasts. Chatty Cathy was all a girl could ask for: someone who didn't tell you to wash your hands or eat all your vegetables and she was someone who asked you to take her with you or tell her a story and tell you she loved you when you pulled that string on an 0-ring. For a girl whose parents divorced at the age of seven and was being transferred from one school after another, Barbie and Cathy were the best companions a young girl could have.

When I was 11 years old, the next best thing to getting a puppy occurred. Barbie got a friend and I got Ken. And even though he had underwear painted to cover his shapely buttocks and his near-flat crotch area, my best friend (Linda) and I couldn't wait to get Ken naked to see what sex was all about.

It's really unfortunate that it took me fifty years to discover Mattel and Ruth while rediscovering Barbie! But before I comment on Robin Gerber's new book, Barbie and Ruth (The Story of the World's Most Famous Doll and the Woman Who Created Her), almost as interesting is what piqued my newfound fascination for Barbie. My husband and I spent a recent Saturday night at the shul. We thought it was going to be a simple Slichot kind of evening. But it turned into Havdalah, an Oneg and a film and discussion of The Tribe, a 2006 Indie film and Sundance Award winner. Tribes are as ancient as the Old Testament and popular as Seth Godin. Everybody wants one; something to belong to and with which to identify. In this 15 minute film, The Tribe takes a look back at Barbie and her creator, Ruth Handler and then fast-forwards to what it means to be Jewish today. Using black and white film clips, edgy and hip music, young people and Barbie, The Tribe provides an opportunity for engagement and a forum for discussion on today's American Jewish identity! That being said, it was in the midst of this unusual setting that I learned that my Barbie, my blonde, perky Barbie was created by a Jewish woman. So, of course, that triggered my need to know more.

Love, marriage, sex scandals, AIDS, breasts of large proportions,bitchy women at the top of the corporate ladder, law suits, cancer... It's all here in Barbie and Ruth.

Born in 1916 in Colorado to Polish Jewish immigrants, Ruth Mosko was the youngest of 10 siblings. Nicely paired, Barbie and Ruth take you on a life journey of a wife, business partner and working mother of two (Barbara and Ken); a woman named Ruth. (You could make strong parallels between Ruth Handler and Biblical Ruth: loyalty, leadership, constant). What started out as a business in their garage, Ruth and Elliot and friend Harold Mattson began making picture frames. Matt and El, known as Mattel, started a business that soon changed its focus to dollhouse furniture and then toys. While this book focuses on their 60-year marriage, love and business life of Ruth and Elliot, you will find hints of the unhappiness of her children who were ignored as a business empire thrived; a son whose life was spent in a closet of guilt; a woman who got caught up and was indicted on 10 counts of mail fraud, falsifying statements to the SEC and was charged with $57,000 in fines and 500 hours per year for five years of community service; damaged by cancer; creates a bra for mastectomies and dies of colon cancer. Known for years in Mattel as a hard-assed force to be avoided and detailed oriented to a fault, Ruth loved the attention and loved being a woman in a man's world.

It's unclear about the outright plagiarism by Ruth that gave birth to Barbie. She bought German-designed dolls that were used by Bild Lilli as men's titillating toy dolls. Copied them down to the nipples that were filed off. She then handed the doll and her clothing to her designers, put the evidence in boxes, buried them in Mattel and six years after the overwhelming success of Barbie she settled with Bild Lilli and bought them out for $6k. Seems history may have been rewritten a few times on Ruth's inspiration for Barbie.

Not one to stand still for long, Ruth was also always entertaining ways to expand and purchase businesses including Turco Manufacturing and Ringling Brothers and Barnum and Bailey Circus.

Ruth's fall from grace proved her unstoppable. Rising up from breast cancer and her humiliation in the press, she pressed on to become a model for young women in business with life her life-changing philanthropic efforts. Thanks, Barbie and Ruth for the memories.